Sorry, Maid-Rite

Tuesday, June 13

Breakfast: believe it or not, we are tired of tater tots, so we have ochazuke for breakfast.


Our schedule is free until the afternoon, so we take a tour of downtown Marshalltown.

First stop: Lillie Mae Chocolates. Handmade chocolates since 1939.

So naturally, Trish buys mustard.











They also have ice cream. I would have named some of the flavors differently. "Tropical Itch" sherbert, for example. Sounds like something one might bring home from spring break.



Second stop: Muddy Waters Roasting Company, aka Tremont On Main. Roy, tired of the hotel's coffee, buys some of the real stuff. Why live like animals?



Last stop: Haley's Deli.





In the front is a smoker, doing its thing, churning out the day's special: smoked pork chops.

Previous Maid-Rite lunch plans are immediately abandoned. We will eat here.








The deli case has tater tot casserole, brisket, fried chicken, all sorts of sides, and smoked pork chops the size of my head.
















Here's the owner and his family. They very kindly treat us to lunch. Sweet!









Pam has the tater tot casserole.













I get the pork chop special with beans & mashed taters. (This is actually a photo of Trish's chop with broccoli salad & chicken noodles. But you get the idea.)


Holy piggery, batman.

The chop is huge, smoky, and salty enough so that I think I can feel my head shrink. It's super-yummers though, so I eat the whole thing. And then drink most of Trish's diet coke.






Fueled by smoked chop goodness, we load into the Marshalltown High School auditorium. Then, before the concert, we have time for quick naps.

It's nice to play indoors, for a change. The concert goes pretty well, and we wind up filling about 2/3 of the 1200-seat house. In the audience: the family from Haley's and our waiter from Zeno's.





Post-concert snacks at Culver's. I have the burger - and it is GOOD. Giant grilly hamburger, toasty bun, thickly sliced onion, pickles, and a red tomato. As far as fast-food burgers go (and I loathe most of them), this is second only to In-N-Out. Yu-friggin'-um. And the lemon freeze was crazy-sour. Loved it.

Go find a butterburger near you, now.

Workshop-a-looza

Monday, June 12

We have six events today, so we split into two groups. Roy, Trish, Adam, and I are scheduled to do three one-hour workshops. The first workshop is with Spanish-speakers, so we have an interpreter. We learn that "yooooooo-oh" is the same in english (and japanese, I guess) as it is in spanish.



Lunch @ Creek Bottom Coffee House. We have panini; I have the turkey with bacon and pepperoni and a killer mocha.

















We have some time to kill before the next workshop @ the YMCA, so Trish & Adam take turns on the gymnastics mat. Trish's dismount: a perfect 10.



Ice cream snacks at Culver's. Then off to workshop #3.

Afterwards, dinner @ Zeno's Pizza. Like most of the other restaurant's we've tried, this one's been open forever (I will put exact dates here later, I swear).

Before we eat, Trish does a beer tasting (Trish hates beer).

First, Killian's Red.








Bleh.








Next: Beck's Dark










Eh, not bad.














But we're here for the pizza. And we are hungry.

We get a jumbo half-cheeseburger (which has pickles)-half-veggie and a jumbo Zeno's Special (pepperoni, sausage, onion, mushroom, peppers).

Jumbo, indeed.


The crust is thin, and the cheese is provolone (my favorite). And I like the pickles.

So do Franco & Wisa.

Butterburgers

Sunday, June 11

Breakfast buffet at our hotel. It's not a sexy buffet, but it's complementary, and we're not proud. Sausage patties, eggs, burritos, cereal, and TATER TOTS, which almost makes up for the bad pie experience. I loves me tater tots.














Two school shows later, we are starving. Next to our hotel is Culver's, a burger & frozen custard joint. Home of the butterburger. The butter's brushed onto the toasted buns, not stuck into the burgers. Thank goodness.

















I try the pulled pork sandwich (pretty good), with a side of fried cheese curds (not bad) and a chocolate milkshake (thick). Diet (and arteries) be damned.


Everyone else gets cheeseburgers.



Tomorrow's schedule is packed, with hardly any time for breaks. For tomorrow's lunch, Trish & I make o-musubi in our hotel bathroom-cum-prep kitchen.

Ah - the glamour of life on the road.

Welcome to Marshalltown

Saturday, June 10

We arrive at our Marshalltown hotel, a two-hour drive from our beloved Perry. We wait in the van while Roy checks us in. It is incredibly windy (a consequence of Iowa's flatness, I assume), and we watch some hapless sparrows flap against the wind. One lands on the grass, near a crow. The crow grabs the sparrow and starts pecking at it, feathers and sparrow parts flying. This puts us in the mood for snacks.

Before arrival, I had done a little research and found glowing Roadfood & Epicurious reviews of a restaurant called Stone's. So off to Stone's we went.

It's a quaint place, open since 1887. Decorated like my Aunt Bessie's farmhouse. Known for its mile-high lemon chiffon pie. Epicurious called it one of "America's Top Ten Pies." We'll see about that.

We all take a trip to the salad bar. There are only two mayo-covered salads. Promising. The waitress says all of the steaks are from the local butcher. Things are looking up. I order the chopped steak, medium.

It arrives, wrapped in bacon (yeah) with hash browns (all righty) and a side of veggies (frozen - but I can deal) and covered in brown gravy with canned mushrooms (uh-oh). I cut into it; it's well-done. Not medium.

Wisa orders onion rings (frozen - hm) and prime rib, which she says is pretty good.











Pam orders the same. Both orders come with mashed potatoes, which are totally devoid of salt (oh, no) and seem to be made with water instead of milk (oh, the humanity).













Dessert has got to be better. PJ tries the rhubarb pie, I order the famous lemon chiffon pie.

















Pretty, eh? The lemon is mile-high, just as advertised. But it has the texture of wet circus peanuts. The rhubarb pie isn't much better.

Now, I belive that it's the job of a restaurant critic, even a small-beans amateur like me, to point out the good things, the gems of a restaurant. I'm not here to whine about bad food.

But "America's Top Ten Pies"?

Epicurious can bite me.

Please don't make us leave.

Friday, June 9

Another day in our palatial hotel. Trish & I manage to extract ourselves from our feathery four-poster beds and go to breakfast: cinnamon brioche, smoked pork loin, hand-carved ham, fresh pineapple, and granola, among other things.












We have most of the day off. Across the street from the Hotel Pattee is the Carnegie Library, a combination library/museum/gallery. The highlight: a historical cookbook exhibit. I copy a recipe for ham balls, which we will be having at our next SJT potluck.

Lunch at the Mandarin Cafe. We meet Mr. & Mrs. Wong and two of their four sons. Their egg rolls have an Iowan twist: saurkraut.

On the way back, we stop at the shoe store to meet the resident pup: a Maltese named Sassy. She likes to sit in the store's display window. And no, she is not for sale. So you can stop humming that song.

Concert that evening. Is part of an outdoor summer festival. We play on the street. Wisa spikes the street to the best of her ability.



Saturday, June 10

Our last morning in Perry. Another trip to the cafe, another lovely mocha. So lovely, in fact, that we return for lunch after we check out of the hotel.

I have the meatloaf sandwich & cheese/red potato soup. This is the third time I've had their meatloaf, and it is excellent every time. The soup is loaded with cheddar and perfectly cooked potatoes, red peppers, and onions. Hats off.





Trish has the yankee pot roast soup.














Pam & Wisa get BLTs. The bacon is thick-cut, and the tomatoes are ripe. Nice.












Afterwards, Wisa vandalizes the cafe's wall. SJT was here.

Welcome to Perry!

Tuesday, June 6 (continued)

After a 3-hour drive, we arrive in Perry. Another small town, but this time, our lodgings are a wee bit nicer.

Check it out:
www.hotelpattee.com

Trish and I are in the "King's Daughters" room and are treated like the princesses that we are. The bathroom is huge. I swim a few laps in our giant tub/jacuzzi.





We have dinner at The Highland Elk Bistro. What a place like this is doing in a town like Perry, I have no idea but am totally grateful for it.

I have meatloaf wrapped in bacon with smashed red potatoes and haricot vert. For dessert, Wisa & Pam have the "fudgy-wudgy" cake. It is very wudgy.















After dinner: we throw a few games in our own private bowling alley.













Life is good.










Wednesday, June 7

Short presentation @ the library in the morning. We are guests @ the Rotary Club lunch (pork stir fry & cheesecake - hm). Then a workshop with middle school students.

Afterwards, another soak in the jacuzzi. Then a lovely mocha @ the Highland Elk coffee shop, which is in the same building as the Bistro. They have great coffee, lovely snacks, and the world's biggest marble bathroom. Not to mention leather sofas, free wireless, local periodicals, and lemurs.






























Then we are off to another reception, this time @ the biggest house in Perry. 4 floors, 9,000+ square feet. The decor: zebra rugs, animal heads, and crocs. Lots of 'em. Republicans live here. We meet the high school band director, the minister, the mayor, the school superintendent, and a man who works at the local piggery - or rather, the de-piggery. "We deconstruct the pigs there," he says. He offers to give us a tour of the facility. We politely decline.



Thursday, June 8

Morning demo & workshop at a youth correctional facility/school. The students are all teenage boys and are incredibly respectful & well-behaved. I make a list of JT kids who might benefit from enrollment.

Another afternoon workshop with middle school students. But first: we have early lunch in the middle school cafeteria. Hot dogs, tater tots, chocolate milk, & flashbacks.







Afterwards, snacks @ the Highland Elk coffee shop. Meatloaf sandwiches, curried chicken salad, chocolate truffles, and nice coffee. Am ready to move in.

An evening teaser performance. We play in a courtyard of sorts, next to the hotel. Among the audience members is a Chinese kid, whose family (the Wongs, formerly of Milpitas) owns the Mandarin Cafe, the only asian restaurant in town. We promise to have lunch there the following day.

We go back to the Highland Elk for dinner. I really have no idea how such a beautiful place survives in a small town like this, but here's hoping it stays open forever. Trish & I get there early, so we start with martinis: green apple for me, and citrus for her. Kanpai. Those disappear quickly, so we order more: I get an almond joy 'tini, Trish gets a creamsicle 'tini. Happy birthday to me!

Dinner: I taste Trish's heirloom tomato & fresh mozz salad. We split the orange-glazed salmon (with wild rice & asparagus) and crab cakes (all crab, no filler). Everything is tasty.











The day ends @ the bowling alley. Because it's my birthday & everyone has to do what I say, Ron (one of our Hancher chaperones) & Dan (his partner) have to bowl a game with us. They are good sports.

Last day in Spencer

Monday, June 5

Leisurely morning. We make WAY too much rice for breakfast.

Roy, Trish, & I go downtown to the one & only coffee shop in town for mochas. On the way, we run into the only Asian family in town. We exchange knowing glances.

Lunch @ diner. Onion rings and "broasted" pork chop. In this case, broasted = breaded & fried. Huh.

Some people order the fried chicken, which has been brined to death & is unnaturally juicy.

PJ orders apricot/peach/cherry pie a la mode for dessert, which she shares with Trish.








Concert @ Lake Okoboji in the evening. Is cool & breezy, totally unlike the thousand-degree inferno the day before.

Reception afterwards. Were supposed to get to reception via boat, so Pam & I were hopped up on Dramamine, but we wind up taking the vans instead. The highlight of the reception snacks: rhubarb cheesecake. Was nice & tart, almost lemony. I got the recipe. Am now a big rhubarb fan. Wasn't before, probably because the few strawberry-rhubarb pies I've had have consisted mainly of overcooked, soggy strawberries.


Tuesday, June 6

We leave today. But first: another mocha @ the antiques/coffee shop and lunch @ Carroll's Bakery. Most of us have a runza, which is ground beef/saurkraut/cheese all wrapped up in pastry. Good eats.











We are media stars once again. The Spencer newspaper has a full-page photo spread of Sunday's concert. In the photos, we all look hot, sweaty, and crabby. The headline should probably read "Sunscreen, please."

Spencer, we shall miss you...

Spencer, Part Duex

Sunday, June 4

- Quiet morning. Breakfast @ family diner around the corner (the lack of detail in this blog is appalling). Had hashbrowns, eggs over medium, and polish sausage. With toast covered in salty butter. Thumbs up.

- 5:00 concert, outdoor stage @ park. Sun shining directly onto stage; felt much like being under broiler. Am out of shape as usual; 15 minutes into the concert, could no longer raise arms above head. Joe comes to the concert, gives us fudge & some of his recipes.

- Party given by one of the local organizers. Is a small farm. Kittens everywhere (exceptionally cute & just as exceptionally aromatic). We grill hot dogs over an open fire. Among the other dishes are several potato salads, a rhubarb cake (yum), and some more giant, uncut scallions. They are part of the crudite platter - a midwest thing. Joel, the eldest kid, offers everyone rides on his ATV. Roy volunteers Wisa.

Dateline: Spencer

Thursday, June 1

- Drive from Iowa City to Spencer (5-ish hours). Lunch stop @ Panera. Am not a fan of chain bakeries but was happy to see a Panera amongst the McCrap.

- Picnic at the Spencer park, where we had very midwestern potluck snacks and met some of the locals, including Joe, a 90+ yr old character who had owned the town bakery for 60+ years. We exchanged baking stories and he promised to give me his fudge recipe. Then he told me a dirty joke.



Friday, June 2
- We are down 1 man due to illness.

- The truck ramp breaks. We have 3,300 pounds of equipment. Loading/unloading is not going to be as much fun as usual.

- On the way to lunch, we are in a minor accident with our 2 vans and a giant firetruck.

- Lunch @ previously mentioned bakery.

- Afternoon workshop & evening school show.

- Another party. Joe bakes a chocolate cake for the occasion and asks me to decorate it during the party. Am happy to oblige, as long as he doesn't share any more dirty jokes.






Saturday, June 3
- FOUR HOUR parent/child workshop.

- Lunch @ the bakery, again. Gotta support the town bakery!














- Everyone, including Ron (one of our chaperones from U of Iowa) buys Keen sandals @ the local shoe store. The assimilation has begun...

- Arts & crafts workshop. The kids make hachimaki & ribbon-things they can wave around during Sunday's concert. Trish enjoys the crafting. We make Adam a get-well-soon hachimaki. Franco draws a peace sign & writes "get well!" I write "or else."

- In the evening: a 20-minute teaser performance before the YMCA dance recital. Fluffy pink girls in tutus everywhere, including Hannah, one of our die-hard fans who has been attending all of our events. She bats her huge blue eyes and asks us if we're staying for the whole recital. Sigh.

- Dinner @ The Prime Rib. Their specialty? Chicken (I kid). The only green items in their salad bar are whole, uncut scallions and iceburg lettuce. There is, however, plenty of pickled herring, red jello, and mayo-covered carbohydrates. We try their Cheese Balls (fried cheddar curds) and then throw down some serious moo.

- Dessert back in our rooms: leftover brownies (from last night's party, and they're from a mix, but @ this point, I don't care) & Blue Bunny vanilla ice cream (verdict: it ain't no Blue Bell) from the Hy-Vee. We run into a couple who had just been @ the dance recital to see their granddaughters, and they say nice things to us. How sweet.